I have noticed in my own writing that I have a tendency to use some words more frequently than others. For example - so; apparently; at the moment; after a moment; of course; maybe; perhaps; clearly; quite clearly; as yet. Most of time these words or phrases are superfluous - "So, you want to go to the movies?" ; "Quite clearly the man was on a mission." "As yet there had be no sign of the young man." Sometimes these words help, but often they are unnecessary. Use MS Word's find option and look at each occasion of use. Let's not use fluff to increase our word count. What are your most over-used and potentially unnecessary words?
Characters need to have several names that can be used to identify them. Using the same name repeatedly tends to impede the flow of the read and it sounds awkward and clunky. Jackson Hammond (a main character in my book The Tree of Thorns) for example could be referred to as Jackson Hammond or Jackson or Hammond or the trainee or the young man or the nurse or the trainee nurse. Mix them up through a paragraph or over a page or two. The repeated use of "he" or "she" is something to avoid for the same reason.
Avoiding repetitive phrases or sentences like "He turned the corner and disappeared from view." - why not "He turned the corner and disappeared." or "Hammond lifted up the bonnet of his vehicle." No need for the "up" here. The same with words like "raised up" ; "dropped down" ; "knelt down". There may at times be a place for the use of these - most likely within character dialogue.
The reader will make automatic conclusions of some actions without them having to be detailed. "The old man lifted up his arm, took hold of the doorknob, turned it and opened the door." Now if this is a suspenseful moment and done slowly with the suggestion that something dastardly is about to happen, it may fit the scene, but if not simply "The old man opened the door" would suffice. The reader is familiar with how a door is opened. Try using more concise words where possible - can you use "soon" instead of "in a while". "The large rotund man was fat and overweight" - a pretty untidy sentence that says the same thing four times!
Knowing your character and what words they would use in different scenarios is important. They may never curse in front of ladies for example; they may speak quite differently at work to how they would elsewhere. A teacher when addressing students is much different to the chat they would have in the teacher's lunchroom.
Scene description and detail is essential. Think of yourself like an artist painting a picture because this is what you need to do for your reader. At the same time it's not a flood of adjectives. "An unseasonable
wind and early autumn chill whistled around the eaves of the aged building." This is the first sentence of a novel. It poses some questions and sets up a feeling and / or expectation of some unpleasantness or discomfort.
I used the Editor tool that comes with MS Word - it scanned my book of 95,000 words and came up with 951 suggestions! Wow! Out of all of them there was only one that was a genuine error (a typo with "the the"). Most of these were grammatical, suggesting commas where I didn't want them and wanting an expansion of abbreviations like I'll or You're or They're to I will; You are and They are - which is completely stupid - especially in dialogue. In fact, I have deliberately gone through and changed many of such word couplets to the abbreviated version. The use of "I am" or "I'm" and others is interesting. "I am" is stronger and indeed appropriate at times "I am leading the discussion" sounds more forceful than "I'm leading the discussion." Consider which way you go with these in your own writing and remember how people actually talk to each other so it all sounds authentic.
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